we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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