She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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