Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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