She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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