We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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