that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
