He is an equal opportunity slut.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
