The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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