Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
