I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
