When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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