Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
