she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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