Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
