Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
