No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
