Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
sarcasm needs its own font
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
