I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
