From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Randomize
