He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
