On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Come see our sink grown plant.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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