At least make sure they are 18
Why
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
