i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
