I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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