The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just invented taco cereal.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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