I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
