the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Pants 0. Shit 1.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
third nipple confirmed
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
