I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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