Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
