I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
