If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
no you cant smoke seaweed
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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