Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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