This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
