Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
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