break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
