I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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