PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize