just survived the first fart of the relationship.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
