Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize