my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
