do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
