i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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