Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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