This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
