the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
