what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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