Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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