i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
