i just google imaged poop.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize