we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
