I love black thongs
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
