My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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