i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
