absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
