Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize