I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
