Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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