2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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