Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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