You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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