Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
