ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I could fuck to npr.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
