I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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