i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
