Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
the liver wants what the liver wants
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
