Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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