They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
