just come out here and I will go home with you...
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Randomize
